Coping & Survival

for Parents of Autistic Children

by Mary Hepple & Ellen Feifarek

* You are the expert on your child

* Autistic children are rigid - the adults must be flexible

* Everyone doesn't have to agree on everything - you will see things differently

than your spouse, family, friends, and school

* Let others do what they can to help - ask for what you need from the person who

can give it

* Preserve your emotional energy

* If you are at a low point, let things be

* Abandon the idea of the "perfect family" and "perfect child"

* Chronic sleep deprivation is bad - do whatever it takes to get some sleep

* Find another parent with an autistic child to talk to regularly

* Read and get information - Join the Autism Society for information and support

* Routines are your friends

* Look to your child - see what he likes and can do - start there

* Think ahead before you go out - autistic children have trouble waiting -be

willing to go late or leave early, consider taking two cars - prepare your child

using pictures, words, and visual cues

* Music, video tapes, Sesame Street and other PBS shows can be good teaching

tools, as well as pleasurable to the child, and can also give you a few minutes to

yourself

* Consider buying a trampoline and a swing

* Read to your child and make books and cards available to them

* Choose your battles - it's easier to "shape" a behavior than to eliminate it

* Talk to your other kids on their level about their sibling's strengths and

weaknesses

* Give your other kids some time away from autism

* Give your other kids some time alone with each parent individually, and with

both parents together

* Spend time alone and with your spouse, without the kids

* Accept your own limitations

* Don't let anyone take away your hope

* GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT - everything you do is a deal!